Tired...

Do you ever get to the point when you're just tired of it? And what's "it"? Everything. You don't want to move, think or breath you just live and that's about it. Because you do it without thinking but other than that you no longer want to care. You're sick of being happy or worried. You just want to be...

That's the kind of mood I'm in right now. Just let me be.

Guys are weird...

There's this one guy who has been continuously asking me out since our Frosh yr in college. That was 5.5 years ago. Fall 2001, and I graduted early too. And to this day he still asks me out. I even blocked him for awhile, but then I figured he gave up. Did he? Nope. Now he IMs me at least once every day or two to tell me he wants to see me. How beautiful I am. He asks me if I'm single yet. If I'm married yet, etc.. etc.. etc.. etc...

Just now:

xxxxxxxxxx (9:28:44 PM): you are gorgeous

Is he just plain retarded? I think so. He's seen me go thru 3 boyfriends already. Ugh. What a freak job...

How come the ones we want we can never get and the wants we don't want we can't get rid of? To him, it doesn't matter whether I'm with someone or not. He always assumed we were supposed to be something and he gets mad at me for never going for it. WTF. Odd odd boy.

BMIs

N.Y. considers banning ultrathin fashion models

NEW YORK (CNN) -- A New York City Council member Thursday proposed pushing sponsors to ban abnormally thin models from walking New York Fashion Week's runways.

Council member Gail Brewer wants fashion houses to ban any model with a body mass index of less than 18.5 -- the cutoff for the World Health Organization's definition of "normal."

Brewer said she wants models to be educated on nutrition and designers to encourage healthful lifestyles. (Watch stick-thin models strut the runway )

"We want the designers to offer some clothes that are a little bit more robust," she also told CNN, "and we certainly don't want people under the age of 16 to be modeling."

Madrid Fashion Week set a BMI limit of 18 in September, and Italian designers in December agreed to health and age guidelines for runway models, The Associated Press reported.
On Wednesday, Assemblyman Jose Rivera of the Bronx introduced a resolution in the state legislature to generate standards to protect the health of teenage models and entertainers, AP reported.

The Council of Fashion Designers of America issued recommendations in January to help bulimia, anorexia and other health problems among models.

Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston died in November at age 21. She was 5 feet 8 inches tall and weighed just 88 pounds, for a BMI of 13.4.

WHO defines normal BMI as 18.5 to 24.9.

"Being exposed to an environment with a lot of emphasis on thinness can put someone with a predisposition to eating disorders in a very high-risk situation," Dr. Sharon Alger-Mayer, an associate professor of medicine at Albany Medical Center, told AP.

Copyright 2007 CNN. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Associated Press contributed to this report.

Source: CNN

---

As much as I like it that runways are trying to make images of women "healthier" this whole BMI banning is kind of silly. Simply just say that if you look to skinny, you can't go on the show. BMI measures weight to height. Not necessarily muscle & body fat. (Hello, muscle weighs more than fat) I, personally am in the 17s when it comes to BMI (currently around 17.4-17.7) and I am NOT deathly skinny or even close to modelesque. Silly, no? IN FACT, I'd probably have to lose some more weight just to be considered. Therefore, dumb.

Obviously when a model lives off of lettuce and diet coke (OR the real coke haha) that's an unhealthy lifestyle but I also see NOTHING wrong with letting a girl who is NATURALLY really skinny who IS healthy on the runway... they should start banning models who have eating disorders and use drugs and diet pills to stay thin off the runways, those are the ones who are giving off a bad body image to young women all around. But then again, while I like my Kate Moss', I also LOVE my Victoria Secrets angels... yum!

Women in general need better "body image role models"... I noticed that up and coming actresses, singers, women in the lime light slowly gravitate to losing weight and being skinny. All of the more "thick" or "voluptous" women who are also seen as beautiful, seem to be older, more mature women. Catherine Zeta Jones, Kate Winslet, Salma Hayek, etc.. all beautiful gorgeous women. Latina & African women seem to be more accepted as they are when beautiful and curvey than an Asian woman would be. You don't even SEE "voluptous" Asian women in the entertainment business.... rareeeeely! And all I can think of right now is the comedian, M. Cho. *argh* LAME!

OK, I'll continue this rant later, I have work that needs to be done.

Annoying Boring or Boringly Annoying?

I've come to the realization on another reason of "why I am the way I am."

I get annoyed easily. Just as easily as I get bored. Let me explain.

Now, I'm a nice person. I give everyone many chances and many benefits of the doubt. I hate how me being nice automatically makes people assume I'm a fake and the rare few times that I'm mean they automatically call me a bitch like I've been one my whole life. Not that I really care.. it's just annnoying..

Ok. Onwards to annoyances and boredom. I hate it when people suddenly become a significant other. Friends aren't supposed to be like significant others. I hate people who nag me, especially girls who suddenly act like I'm their boyfriends. Don't call me 50x in a row and come stalking me. It's creepy. I don't have a penis. I won't become your sugar daddy. And no, I don't want to date you.

I hate it when people tell me everything and anything and suddenly make me their personal pocketbook/diary. Do I look like your personal assistant? Do I look obligated to do everything and anything for you? Or listen to every whine bitch and moan? No.

I don't like it when people come on too aggressive or think they're always right. Overly opinionated and stubborn is annoying. So are people on the other end of the spectrum. BORING.

Just because I'm nice, don't automatically assume I'll be your best friend either. People who become my best friend within the next 10min is really scary. SCARY. S-C-A-R-Y... and annoying. I'll drop you like it's hot. And if we're walking down the street or sitting across from each other eating, and it's one of those quiet, awkward moment type things? Annoyingly boring. I like people with amazing perky personalities.

Which is probably why I don't date and why it's easy for me to cut people out of my life.

It has nothing to do with me being stuck up or anything, but if you annoy me and/or I get bored of you, seriously, what's the point?! I know that sounds completely annoyingly bitchy but whatever. It's my life and I live it once.

Ok. So maybe it is a slightly bitch kind of thing of me to be. I'll roll my eyes, and pout my lips and wish and pray that you'd disappear. I'll flare my nostrils and everything. I'll even do the glazed over eyes and big toothy smile for awhile.

I used to care if people knew I didn't like them. Now, I don't. Cuz a lot of people don't like me and voice it all the time (and wait, do I care? Do I even know you? You are nonexistent to me) so why should I go around always trying to please people who say enough shit about me as it is?

And when it comes to cutting people off, I'm pretty cold about it. Bad friend? Bye. Bad breakup? What's your name again? Also a reason why I don't date. Guys get annoying or boring to me too easily. I like guys who constantly and consistently keep my interest. I eat too much sugar and drink too much caffeine, it makes sense I need someone to catch my attention since I'm always A.D.D.

Anyways. So, if you're in my life consistently it means that, you're kind of a big deal. Which means, good friends & boyfriend? You guys are really something ♥

life lesson

life lesson #whatever: don't leave your clothes in the laundromat. ever.
that's right, all my clothes got stolen. all my underwear, all my bras, jeans, turtlenecks.. my $150 anthropologie dress, my bcbg vest shirt, my expensive jeans, my cashmere turtleneck, my brand new vs pink pj pants and cute undies and lounge clothes. my tokidoki shirts. my workout clothes. my super expensive towel my mom bought for me. my sheets.

....people are horrible, i guess that's really all i had to say. i mean, who does that? who just goes into the laundromat and takes FOUR LOADS worth of laundry?? now i've started grabbing stuff out of a dryer and went, ahh, that's not mine. how do you not notice its yours? karma's a bitch, i hope, because whoever took my stuff deserves a karmic smackdown of the highest order. trying to look on the bright side, though - at least it's not my camera, or my supernice printer, or monitor, or god forbid my laptop with all my portfolio work, or britten. i'd really be freaking out, then. thank god for small things.

in better news, my dad lent me some money so i could buy underwear/bras/socks/basics like jeans and t-shirts. i managed to get some cute stuff for about $250 - i'll post soon (when i get home from work) with pictures :)

as cool as it is to shop from shopbop all the time, not everyone can afford it. it IS possible to look super cute on a "budget". maybe not walmart budget, but the trick is to find good quality items and spend a bit more on them, rather than buying more, crappier pieces. pics soon!